Saturday, February 23, 2008

And you thought Niki was mean ...

Thinking back, I have lost count on the number of times people (especially people from the opposite gender) say that I am very mean when I comment on girls … Well, the thing is, I’ve lived a big portion of my life with my dad’s close friends (Yes, one of them is Uncle Bob, for those of you who have been privileged enough to meet him, you know what I’m talking about), and that has obviously shaped the person that I am today … One of the more famous jokes from uncle Bob, that I’ve used as well …

Scenario 1
Uncle Bob: Wah, look at that girl !!!
Niki: Huh? Which wan?!?!?
Uncle Bob: That one there la …
Niki: That fat wan ?
Uncle Bob: Yea, her thighs are sooooo big, they should be on a cow !!!
Niki: *Laughs hysterically*

Yes, I do think that some girl's thighs look like that ...
Scenario 2
Uncle Bob: eh, look at that *signals girl*
Niki: Uhuh…
Uncle Bob: When she sits down rite … it's like she has sand dunes on her stomach …
Niki: *ROFL*

Then I came to the UK, and forgot all the sarcasm, that came along with my dad’s friends … I was reminded of it once again when I went back to M’sia during last year’s summer break … but the joke that takes it all, has to be from Uncle Lin when he was in Birmingham for the Masters Hockey Tournament.

Uncle Lin: Look at the size of those jugs …
Niki: Erm, that’s quite normal in the UK …
Uncle Lin: I bet if I import a few of them … I could open a factory and compete with Dutch Lady … my brand would be called “English Lady”
Niki: *Speechless*

And when the tournament ended, and everyone went back to M’sia, the sarcasm stopped … until … I met my new coach, Coach Chris …

1st Scenario
Chris: So who did XXXX bring home this week ?
Steve: Oh, he brought YYYY back …
Chris: Goodness, what was he thinking ? Bringing a tub of margarine home !!!
Niki: *Laughs hysterically*

2nd Scenario
Chris: What’s happening on the field?
Niki: Erm, I dunno, looks like some old women trying to play hockey ….
*walks to the pitch, sees the women there, whom aren’t the skinniest of people*
Chris: Good lord, that’s like cellulite city on the field !!!

So for all of you that think that I’m still mean after reading this post …
1. You obviously haven’t met the people that influence me.
2. You have not realised that there are much meaner people compared to me around.
3. Lastly, You have no sense of humour.

6 comments:

Serious Sam said...

Mmmm BEEF...

Nosensical Niki said...

I bet u get a lot of that where ur at ... =P ...

serious sam said...

Of course! we got all kinds of them cows here but i tend to prefer Holsteins though, them simply YUMMY!

go and Wiki* Holsteins, if you tak faham la ok? cos you wont..

Then again, you like em sardin-like so yea... and yes MY fking theory on M&Ms still holds true!

M&Ms, R0AR!!!

PS: your fking blog is teh balls zzzzzzz

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*DISCLAIMER: Do not cite Wikipedia as a reference for academic purposes.

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